Superman

Been addicted to Smallville lately. *Tsk tsk* And I've been listening to Five For Fighting's Superman song countless times yesterday. The more I listen to the lyrics, the more I pity Clark Kent, although it's just a fictional character.

Imagine the fact knowing that you don't belong to the world you've been raised up in, and having all sorts of power, to saving the world, and having to keep this secret identity from everyone else including the one person you love, for fear that you will end up hurting that person. It's a huge responsibility and because of this, so much of sacrifices to make..

I can't stand to fly, I'm not that naive
I'm just starting to find the better part of me
I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train
It's not easy to be me

I wish that I could cry, fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie about a home I'll never see
It may sound absurd, but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed, but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me

Up, up and away, away from me
It's all right, you can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy or anything

I can't stand to fly, I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride with clouds between their knees

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
I'm only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me, inside of me
Inside of me, inside of me

I'm only a man in a funny red sheet
I'm only a man looking for my dream
I'm only a man in a funny red sheet

It's not easy.. It's not easy to be me.

~~ Five For Fighting - Superman ~~

The Week So Far

Life has not been a bed of roses at the moment. Definitely not this week. Been having so much of emotional and mental turmoil coming from every angle of my life. Sometimes I'd just rather hide myself, away from everyone, away from everything. And if that's not enough, I pretty much screwed up a very dear friend's PayPal account (I'm sooooo sorry..).

Hopefully things will be better before the week ends, coz tomorrow I finally get to watch Return of the King in GSC's Gold Class. *wink* Yup, FINALLY. And that's coz I actually made the point to go to Mid Valley early last Sunday just to queue up. Can you believe it, there were already 18 people queuing (or rather, sitting on the floor in a single file)! It was only 9 in the morning and the counter only opens at 10.30!!! You can actually see them chowing down their breakfast, or yakking away with each other, or talking super loudly on the phone, or even reading newspapers.. Madness, I tell you! Sheer madness!! As much as I think this is all so ridiculous, I have to shamefully admit that I'm just as kiasu as them. I hope it's worth all that trouble..

Sighz.. With all the things that have been going on, it's just so hard to be Pollyanna all the time. Hopefully the Year of Monkey will turn out to be a better year..

Janji Tinggal Janji

I've been having a penchant to listen to Malay songs lately.. The ones that I used to listen back in the primary school days.

This particular song by KRU was one of my favourites, it still is though, till this very day. It's about how you've been with someone you love so much, you gave every single drop of your love to him/her, he/she promises you everything. But in the end, they were just broken promises. He/She dumps you for someone else. Kinda makes you feel like a fool..

Tibalah kita di penghujung persimpangan
Di penghujung jalan cinta kita berdua
Terpaksa ku relakan, tak daya ku halangkan
Ker'na ku tahu cintamu bukan lagi milikku

Menanti hatimu kembali padaku
Menanti purnama jatuh ke riba
Beratnya di mata sebaknya di dada
Melihat kau bersama dirinya

Gadisku.. Yang kupinta hanyalah satu
Semadikanlah kenanganmu bersamaku
Walau ditakdirkan tak bersama lagi
Kau gadis pertama yang kucintai

Oh kasih.. Sebelum kau melangkah pergi
Ke pangkuan teman baru yang kau sanjungi
Lihat ke mataku lihatlah padaku
Lihatlah air mata di mataku ker'na mu

Kau pernah berkata cintamu adalah selamanya
Rambulan menjadi saksi, janji tinggal janji
Kata pada diri ni, di mana kan ku cari ganti
Gadis seistimewa, senyuman penawar hati duka

Takkan ku rayu kembali padaku
Wala di hatiku terasa rindu
Beratnya di mata, sebaknya di dada
Melihat kau bersama dirinya

Gadisku.. Yang ku pinta hanyalah satu
Semadikanlah kenanganmu bersamaku
Walau ditakdirkan tak bersama lagi
Kau gadis pertama yang kucintai

Oh kasih.. Sebalum kau melangkah pergi
Ke pangkuan teman baru yang kau sanjungi
Lihat ke mataku lihatlah padaku
Lihatlah air mata di mataku ker'na mu

~~ KRU - Janji Tinggal Janji ~~

Di Persimpangan Dilema

Masa berlalu tanpa ku menyedari
Percintaan yang kita bina hampir terlerai
Apa salahku, kau buatku begini
Dalam dilema di antara jalan derita
Tidak pernah kuduga ini semua terjadi

Janganlah engkau menghancurkan segala
Setelah lama kita mengharungi bersama
Usah biarkan cinta kita yang suci
Dilambung ombak karam di lautan berduri
Hanya satu pintaku moga kau menginsafi semua ini

Telah banyak yang kuberi sejak dulu lagi
Pengorbanan tiada pernah jemu
Hanyalah Tuhan saja bisa menentukan semua
Kesabaran daku menantimu
Ku tetap memaafkan dan berdoa kau kembali
Sebelum diri melangkah pergi.

~~ Nora - Di Persimpangan Dilema ~~

This Year, I Resolve To...

It's already the 2nd day of the new year. So fast! Time for us to make our NY resolutions.. As usual, resolutions made always ended up being broken. Well, that does not necessarily applies to everyone, though. But this year, I HOPE I will accomplish mine. So what are my resolutions for the year 2004?

1) To gain weight.
To those who do not know me or hasn't seen how I look like, yes, you're not reading this wrong. I'm practically like a stick. I need to gain weight. Desperately and definitely. I'm seriously sick and tired of hearing people say that I'm too thin, or that I don't eat enough, or that I'll easily get blown off by the wind, or being indirectly told that "girls nowadays ah, always want to diet. Always don't want to eat. Always want to be very thin and slim". Hellooooooooooooo... I'm not trying to be like one of them, kay! Do you think I like being this thin???!! It's like a miracle if I get to gain some weight! Because of people like you, I'll gain as much as I can, and shut your bloody mouths!

2) To complete my Piano course.
I've decided that I'm gonna, once and for all, complete everything till Grade 8. Probably need to repeat a couple of grades, since I'm quite rusted with the exam syllabus. Arpeggios? Chromatic scales? WHAT?? And hopefully, I'll do the Diploma after that. I've called up Selangor Institute of Music to enquire. I'll probably need to attend an audition there one day to decide which grade should I continue from.

That's all I can think of, so far.. Well.. Wish me luck! So, what are your NY resolutions? Care to share your list with me?

As We Begin This New Year

Each year we are granted the opportunity to start over. Many of us take the time to make a list of resolutions, things we either want to do or want to refrain from doing. This is a sign that recognize this new beginning. At the same time, it's also a reflection on our failures. Each of us comes to the start of a new year with a sense of having failed to accomplish something that we wanted to do, or of having failed to purge ourselves of things we wanted to avoid.

This reality is both painful and constant. Failure seems to be such a big part of who we are and what we do. We set goals that we don't realize, we make expectations that we do not meet, we establish plans that are not accomplished. This cycle seems so endless that, in fact, we may even begin to wonder why we bother with the whole thing.

For some, however, there is a sense of challenge that this process brings out. True, we may not succeed in doing what we set out to do, but the important task is to start. If we simply give up then nothing has been gained, and much has been lost. The old Chinese proverb states that a trip of a 1,000 miles begins with a single step. When we don't take that step, we deprive ourselves of much joy and excitement that life wants to give us.

Success is not guaranteed in any human activity. In fact, some would contend that success is actually a byproduct of good planning, lots of effort, and not a little bit of luck. This understanding should also help us to understand that the joy should be in the effort to succeed, not in success itself. As Spock once noted on a Star Trek episode, "Having a thing is not so great as wanting. It's not logical, but it is often so". Success is a wonderful goal, and we should all be striving for it. But, along the way, we learn so much from our little failures.

Someone once noted that the difference between a person in heaven and a person in hell was that the one in heaven got up one more time. Our little failures should be treated as spurs to get us up and going again rather than as a re-enforcement to keep us down. As long as we are up and moving towards our goals, we are doing the right thing. We may not succeed but we can learn so much from the journey.

So, as we begin this new year, let's look at some positive steps we can take to enhance our journey. Let's smile a little more. Let's hold back from our comments a little more. Let's be open to helping those around us just a little more. Let's allow God to work through us just a little more. Let's pray as a family a little more. Let's give God some silent time in which He can speak to us. Above all, let's love a little more because in loving we are sharing our very selves with those around us. And, at the very end, all we have is the love we have shared.

May God bless and keep you and yours in the coming year. Happy New Year!

~~ By Deacon Ed of St. Joseph Catholic Church, NY. Shared by Joe Gatuslao ~~